Tuesday is a strange day. Monday’s shock is gone, Friday is still far, and everybody is pretending to be productive while secretly thinking about lunch. ☕ So here are some clean, warm delivery jokes for Uyo — riders, customers, gates and soup included.
No riders were delayed in the making of these jokes. One gateman was mildly confused.
The Tuesday mood department
- Tuesday is Monday’s sequel. Nobody asked for it, but everybody is watching.
- Monday: “This week I will be serious.” Tuesday: “Let’s see how lunch goes first.”
- Your coffee finished at 9:15. Your motivation finished at 9:16.
- Tuesday is the only day that has no excuse. Not Monday-tired, not Friday-excited. Just… Tuesday.
Directions, Uyo style
- Rider: “I’m at your gate.” Customer: “Which gate?” Rider: “The one you described as ‘you’ll see it.’” Customer: “Yes, that one.” 😂
- Customer: “Pass the junction, branch left, there’s a mango tree.” Rider: “This street has eleven mango trees.” Customer: “Mine is the big one.”
- “Come straight, you’ll see a blue gate.” The rider has now seen four blue gates and one blue bus, and the bus is also not the house.
- The rider finally finds the house. The customer comes out and says, “Ah, you didn’t follow my directions?” Correct. That is why he is here. 📍
The office lunch debate, Tuesday edition
- Colleague A: “Let’s order soup.” Colleague B: “Which soup?” Thirty minutes later, the meeting about soup has more attendees than the 10am meeting.
- The person who said “I’ll just take small” is now asking for extra meat with the confidence of a chief.
- Somebody always orders egusi, then looks at your afang like it’s the one that got away.
- Office rule: whoever says “let me just taste it” must contribute to the next order. Nobody has ever followed this rule.
The rider has seen things
- By Tuesday, the rider knows your order better than your mother does. “Same rice, no pepper, extra plantain?” You: “How did you…?”
- The OTP is four digits. Some customers read it out like they are announcing election results. “The first number is… SEVEN.” 🎤
- Customer: “I’m coming down.” Rider checks: it is a bungalow.
A little Tuesday kindness
Riders, thank you for finding us behind mango trees and blue gates every day of the week. Customers, a clear pin and one good landmark is the best Tuesday present you can give. And to the gatemen of Uyo: you are the real navigation system. 💛
When you’re done laughing
When the laughing stops and the lunch debate starts, skip the meeting — order your Tuesday lunch on iDeliver through WhatsApp or the app, and let the rider find the gate. 🍲
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