Happy Monday, Uyo! ☕ If you woke up today and your coffee mug looked at you and said, “Mondays don’t like me either” — you’re in the right place. Before the meetings start and the inbox gets loud, here are a few clean, warm delivery jokes to carry you into the week. Laugh first; the week can wait five minutes. 😄
1. The mug that understands you
Someone bought me a mug that says “Mondays don’t like me either.”
Finally — something in this house that respects my feelings. ☕
2. The “How was your weekend?” interview
Colleague: “How was your weekend?”
Me: “Short.”
Colleague: “What did you do?”
Me: “I blinked on Saturday and opened my eyes on Monday.”
Colleague: “Same. Should we order lunch?”
Me: “Now you’re talking.” 🍗
3. The rider who beat the boss to work
The boss walked into the office at 8:55 a.m. feeling proud.
The iDeliver rider was already at the gate with the breakfast somebody ordered at 8:30.
Boss: “Who is the early one here?”
Security man: “Oga, the rider. You’re number two.”
4. Monday motivation, Uyo edition
My plan for Monday: wake up at 6, exercise, eat a healthy breakfast, start work fresh.
What actually happened: woke up at 7:40, exercised my thumbs scrolling status updates, and asked WhatsApp, “Abeg, what’s for lunch?” 📱
5. The “I’m almost there” relay race
Monday morning traffic on Oron Road:
Me to my boss: “I’m almost there.”
My boss to me: “Me too.”
Our parcel rider, already parked, sipping a drink: “Una still dey road?” 🛵
6. The meeting that could have been a message
Monday meeting, 10 a.m.: “This will only take five minutes.”
11:30 a.m.: Still going.
The only person who left on time was the lunch order — it was delivered at 12:15 while we were still on “one last point.”
7. The weekend leftovers investigation
Me on Sunday night: “I’ll take the leftover jollof to work tomorrow.”
Me on Monday morning: opens the fridge… the jollof is gone.
My younger brother: “Which jollof?”
Some mysteries are solved only by ordering fresh lunch. 🍚
8. The phone battery that also hates Monday
My phone at 9 a.m.: 12%.
My charger: in the car.
My car: at the mechanic.
Monday said, “Let me show you something.” (Thankfully, a power bank can come to you. 🔋)
9. The UNIUYO 8 a.m. lecture
Lecturer: “Why are you late for an 8 a.m. class?”
Student: “Sir, I was waiting for my motivation to arrive.”
Lecturer: “Did it arrive?”
Student: “No sir, but my breakfast did.” 🥪
Monday is lighter when somebody else does the running
Mondays will always be Mondays — but they don’t have to be hungry, stressful, or spent queueing. Share these with the office group, tag the colleague who is “almost there,” and keep smiling. 🧡
When you’re done laughing, open WhatsApp or the iDeliver app and order your Monday lunch — we’ll bring it to you anywhere in Uyo.
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