Happy Wednesday, Uyo! 🐪 Welcome to Hump Day — the top of the week’s hill. From here it’s downhill all the way to Friday (in theory). To help you over the hump, here are some fresh, clean delivery jokes for the office group chat, the hostel and the family WhatsApp. Laugh small, then carry on. 🧡
1. Is it Friday yet?
Colleague at 9:05 a.m.: “Is it Friday yet?”
Me: “No. It’s Wednesday.”
Colleague: “Then why do I feel like I’ve worked five days?”
Me: “Because you did Monday twice in your head.” 😂
2. The camel and the rider
Why did the camel never get stressed on Wednesday?
Because he already had a hump to get over — and an iDeliver rider carrying his lunch. 🐪🛵
3. Halfway there
Me on Monday: “This week I will be productive.”
Me on Wednesday: “Halfway is also a result.”
4. The “I’m not hungry” announcement
Colleague at 11 a.m.: “I’m not eating today. I’m not hungry.”
Rider at 12:45 p.m.: “Who ordered jollof?”
Same colleague, already standing: “Is there extra?” 🍛
5. Midweek meeting maths
Boss: “This meeting will be quick, just five minutes.”
Fifty minutes later, someone’s phone rings. It’s the rider.
Boss: “Okay, let’s end here.”
The lunch delivery has done what no agenda could. ⏱️
6. Directions, Uyo style
Rider: “Madam, where exactly are you?”
Customer: “When you pass the junction, don’t turn. Then turn. You’ll see a yellow gate — it’s not that one. Mine is the one after it.”
Rider, calmly: “Madam, please just drop the pin.” 📍
7. The groceries that came back
I sent my brother to the market for tomatoes, pepper and onions.
He came back with plantain chips, a phone case and a story.
Next time, the grocery list is going to iDeliver. 🍅
8. The battery and the stomach
By Wednesday afternoon, my phone is on 8% and my stomach is on 2%.
I asked myself which one to charge first.
Lunch won. The phone understood. 🔋
9. The hostel hand-off
Rider at the UNIUYO hostel gate: “Delivery for Emem!”
Four Emems came out.
Only one had the OTP. The other three just came to “see the food.” 😅
10. The Wednesday diet
Monday: salad.
Tuesday: salad with small chicken.
Wednesday: chicken with small salad.
By Friday, the salad will be a rumour.
Over the hump, Uyo!
The hardest part of the week is behind you. Share these with the colleague who “isn’t hungry,” the friend who gives directions with landmarks that moved in 2019, and anyone who needs a smile before the next meeting. 😄
When the laughing is done and the stomach starts talking, open WhatsApp or the iDeliver app and let your Wednesday lunch come to you anywhere in Uyo.
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