It’s Friday! 🎉 The most powerful day of the week — the day everybody in Uyo suddenly remembers they have “somewhere to be by 4.” Here are today’s clean, warm delivery jokes for the group chat, the office and the hostel.
The Friday office
1. On Friday, every meeting that “will be short” becomes a lunch debate. Ten minutes on the agenda, forty minutes on rice or swallow.
2. My colleague said, “Let’s order lunch together to save delivery.” Twenty minutes later we have six orders, four kitchens and one argument about pepper.
3. Friday dress code in Uyo: “corporate casual.” Translation: same shirt, but now I’m smiling.
4. The boss said, “Before you go, one small thing.” Nothing on Friday has ever been small. 😂
Rider at the gate
5. Rider: “I’m outside.” Me: “Which outside?” Him: “The outside with the security man that is asking me questions.” I know that outside. I’m coming.
6. The security man at our estate knows my orders better than my family. He saw the rider and said, “Afang again? Correct.”
7. I gave the rider my OTP with so much confidence, like I was reading out my JAMB number.
8. Watching the rider on the live map on Friday is my cardio. Every turn he makes, my heart turns with him.
Weekend planning, Uyo edition
9. Friday plan: “This weekend I will rest.” Saturday: two weddings, one naming ceremony and a cousin who “just wants to branch.”
10. My mum’s weekend grocery list has “small pepper” on it. There is nothing small about the pepper my mum means.
11. I told my roommate I’d cook this weekend. He laughed so hard he opened the app for me.
Lunch-hour logic
12. I asked the WhatsApp AI for “something light for lunch.” Then I added chicken, plantain and a drink. Light is a mindset.
13. My friend at UNIUYO says he “doesn’t eat lunch.” He just eats breakfast at 2 p.m. and calls it strategy.
14. Nothing unites an office like the sound of “Your rider has arrived.” Suddenly everybody is my friend and everybody “just wants to taste.”
The Friday finale
15. Friday 4:59 p.m. is the only time a whole office can pack a bag, shut down a laptop and say “see you Monday” in one move.
16. Friday the 13th? In Uyo the only scary thing today is a long queue at lunch — and we don’t do queues. 🛵
When you’ve stopped laughing, order your Friday lunch on WhatsApp or the iDeliver app — a rider will bring it to your desk in Uyo. 💛
Get started with iDeliver
Download User App
Download Vendor App
Download Driver App
What do you think?
It is nice to know your opinion. Leave a comment.