It is Saturday in Uyo — no alarm, no office, just rest, owambe invitations and the big question: “Who is cooking today?” Before you start your weekend errands, take two minutes and laugh with us. These are clean, warm delivery moments from around town — some true, some only small exaggerated. 😂
1. The aso-ebi emergency
Customer, 9:02 am: “Please, it is very urgent. My aso-ebi is at the tailor and the owambe starts at 12.” Rider arrives at the tailor at 9:30. Tailor: “Ah, I am just cutting the fabric now.” The rider sat down, the tailor sewed, and the customer sent voice notes every five minutes. Dress delivered 11:48. Customer arrived at the party 1:30 — because she was “still doing make-up.” 💃🏾
2. The “small small” market list
Customer: “Just a few small things.” The list: rice, beans, garri, two chickens, a carton of noodles, palm oil, groundnut oil, crayfish, stockfish, pepper, onions, tomatoes, ugu, waterleaf, three crates of drinks, and “anything else you think I need.” The rider looked at the list, looked at his bike, and said a small prayer. 🛒
3. The Saturday wake-up call
Rider: “Good morning, I’m at your gate.” Customer, in the deepest sleeping voice ever recorded: “Who is this?” Rider: “Your groceries.” Customer: “I ordered groceries?” Rider: “Yesterday night, 1 am, sir.” Customer: “…Ah. Night me is a very responsible person.” 😴
4. Football and jollof
A UNIUYO hostel orders jollof for six people right before a big match. The rider arrives at kick-off. Nobody comes down. Rider calls: “I’m downstairs.” Student: “Please wait, it’s a penalty!” Rider: “Who is taking it?” Student: “Come up and watch, the food can come up with you.” The rider now knows the score of a match he never planned to watch. ⚽
5. The visitor alarm
Saturday, 3:00 pm: “Aunty is coming next week.” Saturday, 3:05 pm: “Aunty is at the junction.” Saturday, 3:06 pm: the fastest drinks-and-small-chops order Nwaniba has ever seen. Aunty: “Ah, you people didn’t need to stress.” Everybody: “No stress at all, Ma.” 😅
6. The laughing rider
Customer note: “Please knock three times, then say the password.” Rider: “What is the password?” Customer: “Jollof.” Rider knocked three times and said “Jollof.” A neighbour’s door opened instead. Neighbour: “I didn’t order, but if you have extra…” Even the rider was laughing like a kookaburra by the time the right door opened. 🐦
7. The weekend diet
Saturday morning: “This weekend, I am eating healthy. Only fruits and salad.” Saturday afternoon: “Okay, salad… with small chicken.” Saturday evening: “Let me just add one plate of fried rice and plantain. For balance.” Balance achieved. 🥗➡️🍗
8. Rain on owambe day
Uyo rain starts at exactly the time everyone is dressed for the party. Customer: “Rider, please, no hurry, safety first.” Two minutes later: “Rider, are you close? The gele is getting nervous.” ☔
Happy Saturday from all of us
To every rider who has waited at a tailor’s shop, climbed hostel stairs during a penalty, or ridden through Saturday rain — thank you. To every customer who drops a clear pin with a landmark — we love you. And to everyone whose “small small list” is actually a full market — we’ve got you. 💛
When you’re done laughing, your Saturday groceries or lunch are one message away on WhatsApp or the iDeliver app.
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