It is Friday — Uyo has survived another week, and everybody is in that soft, happy, “what are we eating this weekend?” mood. Before you shut down your laptop, take two minutes and laugh with us. These are clean, warm delivery moments from around town — some true, some only small exaggerated. 😂
1. Four gates and one dog
Rider: “I’m at your gate.” Customer: “Which gate?” Rider: “The black one.” Customer: “Bros, this compound has four gates. Three are black. The fourth one has a dog.” Rider: “…I’ll wait by the dog. At least he’s friendly.” Dog, from inside: woof. Rider: “Okay, I’ll wait by the first black one.” 🐕
2. The pepper negotiation
Customer note on the order: “Please tell them to add small pepper. Not too much. But not too small. Like… medium-small. But make it sweet.” The restaurant read it three times, called a meeting, and sent a voice note back: “Madam, we have understood. We will do our best. Pray for us.” 🌶️
3. “I’m coming down”
Every rider knows this sentence. “I’m coming down” can mean thirty seconds. It can mean ten minutes. It can mean the customer is still looking for slippers, then their wallet, then their phone — while talking on the same phone. One rider in Ewet Housing says he has started timing it with his favourite song. Record so far: three full songs and a chorus. 🎶
4. Friday office maths
11:45 am: “Nobody is ordering lunch today, we are saving money.” 12:10 pm: “Okay, maybe just me.” 12:15 pm: “Add my own.” 12:17 pm: “Me too, but no onions.” 12:20 pm: The whole office on one order, and the one person who said “I’m fasting” asking if they can just have the chicken. 🍗
5. The UNIUYO hostel relay
Rider calls: “I’m at the hostel gate.” Student: “Please give it to the guy in the red shirt.” Guy in the red shirt: “It’s not for me, give it to the girl with the umbrella.” Girl with the umbrella: “Ah, it’s for my roommate, she’s coming.” The food changed hands three times and still arrived hot. That is teamwork. 🏫
6. The rain plan
Uyo rain starts. Customer: “Rider, abeg take your time, safety first.” Two minutes later: “Rider, how far? Are you close?” Rider: “Sir, the rain and I are both on our way.” ☔
7. The weekend pre-order
Customer on Friday morning: “I’m just checking the menu for tomorrow.” Customer on Friday at 12:30 pm: “Why should I wait for tomorrow? Life is short.” Order placed. No regrets. 😄
Happy Friday from all of us
To every rider who has stood by the right gate, the wrong gate and the dog gate — thank you. To every customer who sends a clear pin with a landmark — we love you. And to everyone still saying “I’m coming down” — we are waiting with a smile. 💛
When you’re done laughing, your Friday lunch is one message away on WhatsApp or the iDeliver app.
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