Happy Friday, Uyo. 🌤️ The week tried its best, your inbox tried harder, and somewhere a rider is already negotiating with a gate that has three names and no number. Here are clean, warm delivery jokes for the soft landing into weekend — laugh small, then let lunch or a local parcel come to you.
1. Soft Friday only
Colleague: “Is it Friday yet?”
Boss: “It’s Friday.”
Colleague: “Then why do I still feel like Thursday?”
You: “Because lunch hasn’t arrived. Soft Friday starts when the cooler bag does.” 😄
2. The closing-time committee
Every Friday at 12:05 p.m., the office forms an unofficial committee:
- Person A wants afang.
- Person B wants jollof “but not too peppery.”
- Person C is “not hungry” until the rider is outside.
- Person D asks if free delivery applies to feelings.
Democracy is beautiful. Lunch democracy needs a deadline.
3. The weekend grocery list that writes itself
You: “I’m only ordering lunch.”
Your brain: “And bread. And eggs. And the oil that finished on Tuesday. And the drink your visitor will ask for tomorrow.”
You: “…fine. Groceries too.”
iDeliver: “Core4 understood.” 🛒
4. Gate poetry, Friday edition
Address note: “Black gate after the mango tree, not the other black gate, the one with the dog that looks innocent.”
Rider: arrives correctly.
Dog: still looks innocent.
You: somehow still surprised it worked.
5. ‘I’m coming down’ Olympics
Rider: “I’m outside.”
You: “I’m coming down.”
Ten minutes later, you are still searching for slippers, keys, and the version of yourself that was ready at 11:58 a.m.
Pro tip: pin the floor. Save a life. Save a Friday. 🛵
6. The almost-weekend parcel
Friend: “Please help me send this small package across town before Saturday.”
You: “Define small.”
Friend: sends a photo of something that needs a van and a blessing.
You: open Anything on iDeliver and pick the right vehicle energy anyway.
7. OTP amnesia returns for the weekend
Rider: “OTP please.”
You: “One second.”
You, internally: opens three apps, two chats, and the fridge.
OTP: was in the first notification all along.
Weekend handoffs love people who check their phone before their fridge.
8. The Friday group-chat treasurer
Someone always becomes the lunch treasurer on Friday. Collects money. Collects preferences. Collects drama. Then places one clean order and becomes the quiet hero of the floor. If that’s you today — thank you for your service. 🫡
When you’re done laughing
Soft-close, Uyo: open WhatsApp or the iDeliver app, order your Friday lunch (or weekend groceries / a local parcel), and let the weekend start with something arriving — not something you’re still debating. 🧡
Laugh small, then order — your Friday plate is one message away.
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