Good morning, Uyo — it’s Saturday! ☀️ No alarm, no meeting, just the sweet sound of someone outside shouting “Mama Emem!” and a list of chores you will start “just now.” Here are clean, warm Saturday delivery jokes to go with your tea — laugh small, then let lunch come to you.
1. The lie-in champion
Mum, 8:00 a.m.: “Are you still sleeping?”
You: “No, I’m resting my eyes.”
Mum, 10:00 a.m.: “Are your eyes still resting?”
You: “They’re in the second half, Ma.” 😴
2. The tomato price debate
You: “Madam, how much is this tomato?”
Seller: names a price.
You: “Ah! Is it imported from heaven?”
Seller: “Is it you that will carry it home in this sun?”
You: quietly open the app and order groceries. 🍅
3. Owambe intelligence service
Aunty: “Are you coming to the wedding?”
You: “Which wedding?”
Aunty: “The one whose aso ebi you bought in August.”
You: suddenly remember, panic, and order a gele pin and a phone charger delivered before 2 p.m.
4. Saturday chores, a timeline
- 9:00 a.m. — “Today I will clean the whole house.”
- 10:30 a.m. — Cleans one shelf. Finds old photos.
- 12:00 p.m. — Still looking at old photos.
- 1:00 p.m. — “Let me just order lunch first, I need energy.”
The shelf is clean. That’s a win. 🧹
5. The matchday loyalty test
Friend: “Come and watch the match at my place.”
You: “Is there food?”
Friend: “There will be football.”
You: “Football is not food, my brother.” ⚽
6. The UNIUYO Saturday menu
Student 1: “What are we cooking today?”
Student 2: “Indomie.”
Student 1: “And tomorrow?”
Student 2: “Indomie, but with egg. It’s Sunday.” 🍜
7. The landmark that went to a party
Address note: “Turn by the canopy in front of the house with the wedding.”
Rider: “There are three canopies and two weddings.”
You: “Follow the loudest DJ.”
Rider: still finds you. Hero behaviour. 🛵
8. ‘I’m not hungry’ — Saturday edition
Your sibling: “I’m not hungry, don’t order for me.”
The food arrives.
Your sibling: “Let me just taste.”
Your plate: now a shared community project.
Laugh small, then rest well
Saturdays in Uyo are for family, rest, football, owambe and the chores you will definitely finish next week. Whatever your Saturday looks like, enjoy it — and look out for the riders moving through the city today. A wave and a “well done” go a long way. 💛
When you’re done laughing, open WhatsApp and order your Saturday lunch — no market sun, no long queue.
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