Happy Wednesday, Uyo! 😄 The week is officially halfway done. Some people call it “halfway to Friday.” In this office, we call it “halfway to lunch.” Here are clean, warm midweek delivery jokes to carry you from the 10 a.m. meeting to the moment the rider says “I’m at the gate.”
1. Midweek maths
Colleague: “Cheer up! Wednesday means we’re halfway to Friday.”
Me: “Halfway to Friday is too far. Let’s focus on halfway to lunch.”
Colleague: “That’s in two hours.”
Me: “Exactly. Achievable goals.” 📈
2. The pepper negotiation
Customer: “Please, make it small pepper.”
Uyo kitchen: “No problem.”
Customer, after the first spoon, wiping tears: “Is this the small?”
Kitchen: “That one is the small. You don’t want to meet the normal.” 🌶️🔥
3. The OTP announcement
Rider: “Please, the OTP.”
Customer, slowly, like announcing hymn numbers in church: “Four… (pause)… seven… (long pause)… nine…”
Rider: “Sir, the food will be cold before the last digit.” 🙏🏾
4. The office poll
Group chat: “Lunch vote: afang or edikang ikong?”
Votes: 6 afang, 6 edikang ikong, 1 “anything with meat.”
Final decision: order both. Democracy has never tasted better. 🗳️🍲
5. The 12:55 “quick meeting”
Boss at 12:55: “Just a quick five-minute meeting.”
1:40 p.m.: still in the meeting.
Meanwhile at reception: the rider arrived on time, the food is waiting, and the receptionist is guarding it like national treasure. 🏛️
6. The Wednesday wardrobe
Monday: best shirt.
Tuesday: second-best shirt.
Wednesday: “the shirt that says I’m here for lunch, not for a presentation.” 👔
7. The colleague who picks every piece
Me, showing our lunch puzzle: “Which piece completes the plate — A, B or C?”
Colleague: “All three. Plus a drink.”
Me: “That’s not how puzzles work.”
Colleague: “That’s how lunch works.” 🧩🍗
8. Light came at lunchtime
12:30: power comes back to the office.
Everyone: suddenly very busy.
Actually: charging phones to 100% so we can place the lunch order in peace. 🔌📱
9. The UNIUYO alarm
Student: sleeps through three alarms for an 8 a.m. lecture.
Same student: wakes up instantly when the phone says “Your rider is two minutes away.” 📲😂
10. The landmark upgrade
Customer last month: “Come to the house after the yellow kiosk.”
Customer this month, after one wrong gate: drops a pin, adds “blue gate, two flower pots, dog that barks but doesn’t bite.”
Rider: “Madam, with this description I can find you with my eyes closed.” 📍🐕
Laugh small, then let lunch find you
Wednesday has enough meetings already — no need to add a sunny walk to the buka. When you’re done laughing, open WhatsApp or the iDeliver app and order your Wednesday lunch to your desk or hostel gate. 💛
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