It’s Wednesday — officially the middle of the week. Too far from Monday to complain, too far from Friday to celebrate. 😂 So we’ve done the only reasonable thing: collected a few clean, warm delivery jokes from everyday Uyo life to carry you to the weekend. Share them with your office group chat. Blame us if anybody laughs too loud.
1. The plantain negotiation
Customer: “Please add extra plantain.”
Vendor: “How many extra?”
Customer: “Don’t embarrass me. Just know.” 🍌
2. Midweek budget, weekend appetite
Wednesday wallet: “Let’s manage.”
Wednesday stomach: “Chicken. Big one. With salad so we look responsible.”
3. The landmark that moved
“Rider, when you reach the junction, turn by the man selling roasted corn.”
Rider: “Madam, the corn man has gone home.”
“Ah. Then turn where he used to be.” 🌽
4. The “I’m coming” Olympics
Rider: “I’m at your gate.”
Customer: “I’m coming.”
Seven minutes later, the rider has learned the gateman’s life story, his village, and his opinion on jollof.
5. The group order accountant
Every office lunch order has one person who says, “I’ll pay, you’ll send me later.” By Wednesday, that person is running a small bank with five customers and zero repayments. 📊
6. The midweek fridge inspection
Opening the fridge on Wednesday is like checking your bank balance. You already know. You just hope something changed since this morning.
7. The rain plan
In Uyo, the sky can go from sunshine to “stay where you are” in ten minutes. That’s why some people check the weather — and smart people check the delivery app. ☔
8. The honest review
Customer rating the rider: “Five stars. He arrived before my hunger finished preparing its speech.”
9. The “small chops” definition
At every party in Uyo, “small chops” is never small. By the time the tray reaches your table, it is a full meal with a side of confidence.
10. The lecture-hall delivery
UNIUYO student: “Please call me when you reach.”
Rider calls.
Student, whispering: “I’m in class. Can you come in and sit at the back?” 🎓
Laugh first, lunch after
Every one of these jokes ends the same way in real life: somebody gets hungry, somebody needs something delivered, and somebody does not want to stand in the sun to get it. That’s where we come in, quietly, with the live map and the rider who knows exactly where the corn man used to be. 😄
When you’re done laughing, open WhatsApp or the iDeliver app and order your midweek lunch — extra plantain, no judgment. 🧡
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